Self

I once listened to an audio presentation by an Australian Catholic missionary named Matthew Kelly called Becoming The-Best-Version-Of-Yourself. He had given it to me when I interviewed for a job with him in 2004. I ended up taking a position with my current employer instead. If nothing else, interviewing with him netted me about 10 free, signed books.

The basic premise of the presentation is that we have to examine the "meaning of friendship, work, marriage, and money; all in relation to our essential purpose. Beyond that he demonstrates how understanding our essential purpose brings clarity and direction to our lives, especially in the area of making decisions.

"Finally, he challenges us to reassess the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual aspects of our lives."

It was good. I wish that at the time I was ready to hear it, but I wasn't. I'm going to re-listen to it again this week, but recent events have called a related thought into my head.

Dr. Phil.

I know; he's a quack. He's a sell-out in the truest sense of the word. However, one of his greatest teachings is about living in tune with your "authentic" self (who you were created to be), as opposed to your "fictional" self (who the world has told you to be).

When you combine the two philosophies, you're left with a transparent version of yourself that allows you to be...You. When I live my life, as I was created to live it, and live it up to the best of my ability, a person emerges that transcends being a "good guy."

Steve Fuller recently wrote on his blog about the difference between a Christian and a moralist. His experience came directly from a speech by Tim Keller, the pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NY, NY.

You can read Fuller’s entire post here (it includes a link to one of Keller’s sermons). To make a long story short, Keller uses the story of the Prodigal Son to illustrate the difference between being a moralist and being a Christian.

"Everyone repents for what they have done wrong. The difference between a Christian and a moralist is that a Christian has also learned to repent for the reasons they did right. They recognize the reason for the right things they do is self-justification and the desire to control God and others."

If you truly read this to understand it, you will feel, as Steve puts it, that you have been rocked to your foundation.

This, to me, is the thing that I struggle with as I continue to develop my relationship with Christ and my spiritual self: What is my motivation for doing this?

I could reiterate everything that Steve wrote, but you can read it there, if you’d like. I’m going to move on.

Over the last couple of weeks, I have begun to question who I am. I know that I have at least three different “selves”.
1. Home Self
2. Friend Self
3. Work Self

On Friday, I went with a couple of my work friends to lunch. On the way there, I was cursing like a sailor and didn’t think a thing about it until one of the guys said, “You’ve got a helluva mouth. How do you keep Sam from cussing like that?”

I’ve never had a problem not cursing in front of Sam, so I couldn’t answer that question. It bothered me, but eventually I started right back up.

Later on during lunch (BTW-Q.S.& L. has a great Chicken Quesadilla Salad), I realized that I was also speaking about individual women in very derogatory ways. The two guys that I was eating with are both single and on the look out, so it didn’t seem abnormal at the time.

Friday night, I spent a lot of time thinking about why it was that I acted those ways (i.e. the cursing and “coveting,” for lack of a better term. The best that I could tell was that I just wanted to fit in with my current group. In doing so, I was neither my “authentic” nor the “best-version-of-my-” self.

Saturday morning, I came into work and was doing a bunch of busy work. It was stuff that had to get done, but it didn’t require a bunch of concentration. I set about thinking about other parts of my life that I wasn’t living authentically or as the best-version-of-myself.

What came to mind made me feel entirely uncomfortable. My oldest and best friends are my camping buddies, fantasy sports partners, fellow Reds attendees, and generally they guys that I would list as my groomsmen if I were to be married tomorrow. However, when I am around them, I find myself acting wholly and utterly inappropriate. I don’t know why I feel the need to do this around them other than I feel that I am expected to do so. I’m the one that should comment on women’s chest sizes. I’m the one that makes inappropriate jokes at the expense of their wives or moms.

I think that it would come as a surprise to them that I don’t really enjoy acting like that. It’s not the cool thing to admit, but I feel like shit after I do it. I don’t want to be that guy. I’m not that guy.

Who I am is not conservative, nor is it liberal. I’m not Republican and I’m not Democrat.

What I know I am is:

• compassionate
• forgiving
• accepting
• tolerant
• loving
• helpful
• funny
• serving
• out-going
• free-giving

There are other things that I am, but that’s as far as I can go for now. This could become one of those long, boring lists of self-gratifying adjectives, but that’s not what I’m after. Frankly, I don’t care if people read this or not. This is for me.

I am committed to becoming more true and authentic. God, help me as I struggle towards becoming who you created me to be. Help me to live my life for You, and not in merely claiming to be “in Your name” so as to generate attention to myself. Help me to stay humble. Help me to be Your servant. I know that I'm a work in progress.

In the immortal words of the masses:

     Dear God,

     Help.

     Sincerely,

     Me

How Great Thou Art

I love me a good hymn. I don't think that there is anything quite as moving as a well-performed Amazing Grace. My favorite hymn in the whole wide world is How Great Thou Art.  It is a beautiful poem and the hymn tune, written by the original poet, is hauntingly simple.

My uncle Jerry and I were just talking on Friday about our favorite background singers at the Vineyard.  My very, very favorite is a charming woman named Rhnee. I had the pleasure of meeting her through one of my volunteer rules at V.C.C.

So Jerry says to me, "You've never heard her sing How Great Thou Art."

"Singing hymns is a lost art," I replied. "I wish that V.C.C. would do it more often.  People love it."

Fast-forward two days to this morning.  The last song that we sing is How Great Thou Art.  You've never heard it done like this.  It is Funk/Soul fusion and it is brilliantly performed.  Her vocals are flawless.

Enjoy.

My beautiful Aunt Mia

My Aunt Maria is an amazing woman. She was a stay-at-home mom while her kids were in grade school (she did work PT for the Cincinnati Marlins Swim Team). When her youngest was in junior high, she decided that she wanted to go back to college and pursue her dream of becoming an elementary school teacher.

Long story short: boy did she ever. She worked so hard, and devoted so much of herself to learning how to be a great teacher, that she earned the title of Valedictorian at Xavier University. However, as the humble person that she is, she turned it down so that someone "college-age" could have the title and give the speech.

She teaches at Elda Elementary School in Ross, Ohio. The reason that I write about her starts here. There have been 2 students and 1 teacher diagnosed with brain cancer in the Ross School District in the last year.

Maria is that teacher.

She has glioblastoma. Don't Google, Bing or Yahoo! it. It's not pretty. This type of cancer usually affects older (i.e. eligible for AARP) adults. Maria is anything but. She is in her mid-fourties and is in excellent shape and health (other than the pesky brain cancer thing).

The amazing part is her faith. She is, without a doubt, one of the most Jesus-trusting individuals that I have ever met. She, like I, attends Vineyard Community Church in Springdale, Ohio. She works in Connections helping new attendees get aquainted with our church and with Jesus. She and her husband have counciled couples preparing for marriage for over 15 years. He's a carpenter with a beard...sound familiar?

Maria looks at her situation this way: "God is using me to help other people that struggle with this disease. I am healthy and the doctors can see that anything affecting me is coming directly from the tumors. While you're at it, while not use me to find the cure...and cure me, Lord?"

Not "my life is over." Not "why me?" Only "Use me God. Use me Lord."

Here is her CaringBridge page: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/mariameyer. Read it and be inspired. However this plays itself out, I'm going to have it made into a book.

In the meantime, I think that I'm going to create another blog: Letters For Mia. It's going to be a collection of my writings to her. It's hard sometimes to tell someone to their face how much they mean to you, but I've never had that problem with Maria. I just figured I share it with the world; maybe someone else can find inspiration from it. Others may end up contributing to it. We'll see.