A Monday evening cinquain

sammy
happy silly
running laughing smiling
a superhero in training
son





Post or Read Comments

The Dangerous "What if...?"

I had a good, short quasi-theological discussion with a friend at work today. We were talking about how we both envy a mutual friend of ours for her current location on her faith journey. She's WAY down the road. She is so full of the Holy Spirit and free-giving that it's inspiring just to talk to her. Even non-Believers are drawn to her strength.

She gave up a promising career so that she could devote her life to helping other people. She's a missionary that is currently working with a large midwestern Christian organization and is paying her bills only through the generosity of donors.

There was a big elephant in the room (or cubicle). We both have a wife and a child. The unspoken item was this: "What would we be able to do if we weren't tied down with family and obligation?"

That sound bad, I know. Neither of us would ever IN A MILLION YEARS trade in our life for the life we could have had. However, that doesn't stop someone from bringing to the surface a resentment that was long ago plunged down.

I'll use myself as an example:

• What if I had gone to an out-of-state school instead of limiting myself to Xavier, UC, and NKU? Amy had said that she wanted me to stay close to home. We had been dating for some time and were going to get married.
• What if I hadn't worked at Roger Bacon while I was in college? Would I have fallen into the deep depression that I fought for years and years? Would I have decided to go to grad school and become a professional musician?
• What if I didn't have a kid? Would I be able to do more things? Go more places? Be more involved? Drive fancier cars? Have a fancier house? Go out ot eat more?

The reality is that you make decisions in life as they come at you. At the time, Xavier seemed the best option to me. If I hadn't gone to Xavier, I never would have met the great friends that I did. If I hadn't gone to Xavier, I wouldn't have seen New Orleans pre-Katrina. If I hadn't worked at Roger Bacon while I was in college, I never would have gotten to help teach so many great kids that have turned into great adults. If I wouldn't have had a son, my Sam...

God has a plan for each one of us. Sometimes, we impact people in a way that we don't even know. Maybe God had me at Xavier for a reason that will likely never understand.

I often look back with regret when I think about my time at Roger Bacon (I was a band director there for 6 years). I always felt like I didn't make an impact on people. I was wrong.

When I was a teacher at Roger Bacon, I helped to lead a retreat called Kairos. It translates from Greek to English as "The Lord's Time." It is the counterpart to Chronos. Anyway, it is traditional to start and end your talks with a song. I had used a variety of songs over the years:

• Garth Brooks - The River
• Sarah McLachlin -The Prayer of St. Francis
• Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes

On my last retreat, I really wanted to pick a song that would stand out. I could have gone with a Christian song, but I knew that would be forgotten before the next meal was over. I was listening to a CD that I owned for my DJ company when it hit me. The CD was the Billboard Top 10 from 1979: the year I was born.

I was tired of my lady; we'd been together to long
Like a worn-out recording of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns there was this letter I read

If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into Yoga
If you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
The I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and Escape.

Escape (The Pina Colada Song). It got a laugh out of the kids, as it should have. I talked about how I always tried to find someone to accept me. How I always fought to find someone that didn't make fun of my weight. I talked about how I never felt that I would ever find someone that would love me unconditionally.

Until I realized that person had been there all along. God had always been there. There was more to it, but you get the idea.

I haven't thought about that talk in years. I never thought that it made an impression.  Then I recieved this note this week:

"so this is the second time this week that i have heard the pina colada song and i decided i needed to write to you. every time i hear that song i think about your speach on kairos. thinking about what you said and what that songs makes me feel has helped me out a lot this week. this month has probably been the worst month of my life and i just wanted to let you know that what you said and that song has helped me out in so many ways. i just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart."

I shed a couple tears at my keyboard...and I realized that God always has a reason for why we are where we are.

Post or Read Comments

Chuck E. Cheese's!

Amy, Sam and I went to Chuck E. Cheese’s on Saturday in the midst of our furniture shopping. We met Amy’s brother, Dan, and his family (wife, 3 year old and 1 year old) there for dinner.

The workers at the door were freaking me out. Their job was to facilitate the Chuck E. Cheese Kid Check® Program. This is from the Chuck E. Cheese website:

When you first arrive at Chuck E. Cheese's you will pass through our Kid Check
area where parents or guardians will have their hand stamped with a number that
matches their child's. This is our special way we try to assist you in helping
that everyone who comes together leaves together. (This program is not a
substitute for adult supervision.)

These guys were probably 20 and 17 years old. The 20 year old (hereafter referred to as Creepy VonMolester) was giving the little intro spiel and stamping families with their black light-activated number. He informed us that we had to order our food and then they would get us a table. So much for the “we’ll play and the order some food” idea.

He then opened the movie theater-like rope so that we could enter the food-ordering area. The rope was attached to the wall by a magnet…very secure. And, let me tell you, Creepy VonMolester was very imposing…NOT!

After ordering our food ($38 for a pizza, drinks, 100 tokens and salad bar for one), we were taken to our table. It was situated about 75’ from the stage. Not too far, but not too close either. There were 4 parties going one that monopolized the front. We didn’t stay at our table long before heading to the entertainment area.

I won’t bore you with all of the little games that Sam played, but some of them were fun for him; most of them were a little too old. Instead, I will make some observations about the entertainment area that is crucial Chuck E. Cheese:
1) There are a lot of sloppy-looking fat people at Chuck E. Cheese. Now, I know that I am a big guy. However, I always dress nicely, keep everything tucked in and am groomed. These people were wearing tight-ass clothes, wife-beaters (it was only 9 degrees out!!!), or matching purple jogging suits.
2) There are a lot of fat kids at Chuck E. Cheese. Really fat.
3) Parents DO NOT watch their kids at Chuck E. Cheese.
4) It is apparently okay to walk barefoot around a restaurant if there is skeeball under the same roof.
5) One girl was camped out in front of the same machine from the time that we got there until the time that we left. I can’t imagine how many thousands of tickets were piled on the ground in front of her. Her parents kept bringing tokens to her. After delivering the tokens, the dad went back to sleeping in the booth and the mom went back to playing Bejeweled on her iPhone. Her daughter stunk, wasn’t wearing shoes, and didn’t have a coat with her or in the booth…but she had an iPhone.
6) Skeeball is very addicting.

After playing for about 30 minutes, someone ventured to our table to find that our pizza was there and kind of cold. It wasn’t bad. I will also say that the salad bar was excellent. It had small containers and the girl there was constantly refilling the bins with fresh items. Amy and I did buck the system…we split a plate for the salad bar. I think it was like $4 per plate.

Then, the show came on. I was wondering to myself, “Self, what do you think Chuck has selected to entertain this new generation of children. Imagine my surprise when the following setlist was set forth:
I Think We’re Alone Now – Tiffany (1986)
Everybody Wants to Rule the World – Tears for Fears (1985)
Shout – Tears for Fears (1985)

I would bet you anything that I saw the same show when I was a kid. It is both ridiculous and perfect. The kids don’t care what songs are on and the parents are entertained.

At the end of the recorded show, a "live" Chuck E. Cheese came out to lead a conga line. At one point, he had the kids get down on all fours and crawl around on the floor of the restaurant. That's nice for the restaurant to encourage kids to get their hands all dirty and then either go eat or go touch all of the games.

Sam wanted cotton candy. Cotton candy was 200 tickets. So, I rose to the challenge and Skeeballed it up. Later, I come to find out that now you can just buy the stuff for a penny per ticket. That would have saved some time.

On the way out, they were supposed to check our numbers to make sure that they were the same. They checked ours just fine, but the family in front of us didn’t want to bother with the hassle of holding their hands under the black light. What did Creepy VonMolester do? Nothing. He just said “Oh yeah…I remember that ya’ll came in together. "

Nice.

I don’t see us going back anytime soon.