I had a good, short quasi-theological discussion with a friend at work today. We were talking about how we both envy a mutual friend of ours for her current location on her faith journey. She's WAY down the road. She is so full of the Holy Spirit and free-giving that it's inspiring just to talk to her. Even non-Believers are drawn to her strength.She gave up a promising career so that she could devote her life to helping other people. She's a missionary that is currently working with a large midwestern Christian organization and is paying her bills only through the generosity of donors.
There was a big elephant in the room (or cubicle). We both have a wife and a child. The unspoken item was this: "What would we be able to do if we weren't tied down with family and obligation?"
That sound bad, I know. Neither of us would ever IN A MILLION YEARS trade in our life for the life we could have had. However, that doesn't stop someone from bringing to the surface a resentment that was long ago plunged down.
I'll use myself as an example:
- What if I had gone to an out-of-state school instead of limiting myself to Xavier, UC, and NKU? Amy had said that she wanted me to stay close to home. We had been dating for some time and were going to get married.
- What if I hadn't worked at Roger Bacon while I was in college? Would I have fallen into the deep depression that I fought for years and years? Would I have decided to go to grad school and become a professional musician?
- What if I didn't have a kid? Would I be able to do more things? Go more places? Be more involved? Drive fancier cars? Have a fancier house? Go out ot eat more?
God has a plan for each one of us. Sometimes, we impact people in a way that we don't even know. Maybe God had me at Xavier for a reason that will likely never understand.
I often look back with regret when I think about my time at Roger Bacon (I was a band director there for 6 years). I always felt like I didn't make an impact on people. I was wrong.
When I was a teacher at Roger Bacon, I helped to lead a retreat called Kairos. It translates from Greek to English as "The Lord's Time." It is the counterpart to Chronos. Anyway, it is traditional to start and end your talks with a song. I had used a variety of songs over the years:
- Garth Brooks - The River
- Sarah McLachlin -The Prayer of St. Francis
- Peter Gabriel - In Your Eyes
I was tired of my lady; we'd been together to longEscape (The Pina Colada Song). It got a laugh out of the kids, as it should have. I talked about how I always tried to find someone to accept me. How I always fought to find someone that didn't make fun of my weight. I talked about how I never felt that I would ever find someone that would love me unconditionally.
Like a worn-out recording of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping, I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns there was this letter I read
If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into Yoga
If you have half a brain
If you like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the cape
The I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and Escape.
Until I realized that person had been there all along. God had always been there. There was more to it, but you get the idea.
I haven't thought about that talk in years. I never thought that it made an impression. Then I recieved this note this week:
"so this is the second time this week that i have heard the pina colada song and i decided i needed to write to you. every time i hear that song i think about your speach on kairos. thinking about what you said and what that songs makes me feel has helped me out a lot this week. this month has probably been the worst month of my life and i just wanted to let you know that what you said and that song has helped me out in so many ways. i just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart."I shed a couple tears at my keyboard...and I realized that God always has a reason for why we are where we are.
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